Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

October 11 2015


Arranged Marriage


Arranged marriage may be the traditional way of conducting marriages from the ancient times. Much have changed nowadays and today in many elements of the world especially the western part, marriage decision is very left to the two individuals who decide to live together according to love, trust and commitment to each other. This love, trust and commitment is created over time by knowing one another. But in majority of the Middle East and south Asian countries marriage is still fully arranged or otherwise partly arranged through the elders in the family and by other authorities and also the so called gatekeepers of the society. These folks have considerable influence on the family based on religious and caste based structures. - Clase Para Matrimonos y Parejas

So let's understand what an arranged marriage is and just what are the positives and negatives of the arranged type of marriage. Further if you opt to go for an arranged marriage it might be also wise to try taking a little tips and guidelines in regards to this type of marriage. To begin with, we can define arranged marriages as marriages which are primarily decided by organizations other than the two those who are actually going to get married. It's also called as prearranged marriage. As this kind of marriage is arranged by someone besides the persons actually engaged and getting married, the process of courtship is completely curtailed or shortened to a great extent. Now these "other persons" in highly traditional societies might include parents, family elders, relatives, priests and spiritual leaders. In a little more liberal atmosphere we are able to see the utilization of the assistance of matchmaking agents, family friends and matrimonial sites. It's been seen that the matrimonial sites offer a minimum of some scope for the couple to know one another before getting married. All other avenues, to a very large extent are out of the direct control and influence of the actual people getting married.

Arranged marriage: Positives with the arranged type of marriage

Now let's analyze the positive points of the arranged type of marriage. The foremost thing that has mind when we discuss the positives of arranged marriage is the full support from the families from each side. Arranged marriages are decided after large amount of meetings and discussions among parents and elder members inherited and therefore the chance of any discord in the family as regard towards the marriage can be mostly eliminated out. Further these marriages are built on a solid foundation of two families uniting and therefore the actual people engaged and getting married get lot of confidence. In reality the trust one of them increases to a degree because of the all round approval. Arranged marriage settings actually eliminate lot of burden and uncertainty from your lives of the unmarried girls and boys. For example if the boy or perhaps the girl fully realize that they are going to get married only through arranged type of marriage then they don't have to take the trouble of hunting their life partners by their own. They can concentrate all their energies on more purposeful and fruitful endeavours like advanced schooling and a career by leaving the decision of their marriage completely to their parents. The other together with your arranged marriage include financial and physical support from both the families for the newly wedded couple when it comes to starting a new household of their own. Moreover the relatives also provides a cushion in relatively tougher times. The long term benefits of an arranged marriage incorporate a secure environment for an additional generation under the watchful eyes from the grandparents and a large family.

Arranged marriage: Negatives with the arranged type of marriage

As we have discussed the positives of arranged marriage in great length we ought to also be aware of the negatives and shortcomings from the arranged type of marriage. One of the primary drawbacks of the arranged marriage would be that the most important decision of your person's personal life is taken by someone else. There is no work involved from your boy or the girl to find their life partner and there is no personal relationship between your boy and girl according to love, understanding and dedication to a live a life together. The boy and girl are strangers together and they don't know the preferences of each other. This can latter lead to lot of distress and will become a prime basis for marital discord. Further there's no guaranty that the trust involving the families and elders which can be seen in the initial days continues for long. A small issue one of the senior members of the family could possibly get blown out of proportion and therefore the large egos of the parents and other senior loved ones can completely destroy wedding ceremony. Further arranged marriages would be the biggest cause of dowry demands and dowry related problems. These marriages are also the biggest hindrance to private development and independence in everyday life. The girl and the boy become influenced by their families and they become not capable of even taking the smallest decisions of these life by their own. Further there is large amount of interference from the families during the most trivial of matters and the boy and the girl never figure out how to sort of their lives the direction they want. Socially also arranged form of marriage is the biggest hindrance perfectly into a society which is depending on equality among the people. Arranged marriages will be the biggest propagators of the caste system and conservative spiritual convictions.

Arranged marriage: Methods for arranged type of marriage

Every system has its own positives and negatives. If you have decided that arranged marriage will be the only way that you can get married in the current circumstances prevailing in your lifetime then it would be wise to increase the positives from the arranged marriage and prevent the negatives towards the maximum extent. The top thing that you need to do is to become accountable regarding your own marriage. Don't leave the choice of your marriage on other occasions hands. It is in the end your life and therefore your opinion needs to be respected. This is something you should communicate for your parents and elders in the home. Next is the way to obtain getting a good match. Nowadays when communications happen at lightning speed it's great to use tools like internet based matrimonial sites for searching your lifetime partner. With this mode you should have some control in the buying process as you get a chance to directly get in touch with the other person to whom you might get married and further there is also chance of brief courtship through this mode. A minimum of by this method it is possible to know your life partner a bit better before getting actually married and you will also minimize dowry related demands and problems.

Further check the horoscopes for a match if both families insist on it. This will increase the confidence among the families as well as the those who are getting married. It is highly desirable to help keep at least 3-4 months period gap between the time the marriage is fixed and the actual marriage date. Apart from courtship and understanding each other, this time can be utilized for checking and rechecking the antecedents of the individuals who are getting married. This period can be also a good opportunity for that two families to mingle with one another and create enough rapport to ensure that any future misunderstandings can be avoided. Finally the most important point to remember would be that the success of any marriage whether arranged or love marriage depends upon the two individuals who are actually engaged and getting married. It is definitely in their hands to help make the marriage a big success or even a big failure. - Clase Para Matrimonos y Parejas

Don't be the product, buy the product!